DISCLAIMER: This blog will be written from a Christian perspective. If that's something that may offend you or that you'll find unappealing, I implore you to read no further. Also, there is absolutely nothing that certifies me to give religious, spiritual, or life advice. I am not a minister, therapist, or theologian. These are simply my thoughts, experiences, and the things that I've learned.

  

 In the last few weeks I have gone through some significant changes. These changes seem sudden, almost instantaneous, and seem somewhat supernatural. They have caused me to reflect alot on my life and the direction my life should take now. I came to the end of myself and I was broken. It was hard. It was painful. It was avoidable. That last sentence, "It was avoidable." has had me deep in thought the past few weeks.

    

In life, we always think that we know what is best for our lives. The types of friendsips we have. The types of romantic interest we pursue. Our careers. Our hobbies. Most of it focuses on or aligns with what is EASY and what is CONVENIENT for OUR temperaments. However, are they what the FATHER (God) has planned for us? Do we ever just stop and ask him? Probably not. Because on the surface, these things align with your happiness and convienance. But happiness and convienance doesn't require change. Change is required for growth. The FATHER constantly wants us to grow.

    

So many times in my life I've pursued what I wanted to pursue. Photography, fitness, awards, music, relationships, friendships, career, freedom, independance, the list goes on. I would never question if these things are what the FATHER wanted for me. Why would I? He wants me happy right? Well, most of the time. Sometimes he does require us to feel sadness. However, his intentions for us are always the best. Even better than our own. Even better than what we want for ourselves. He has the best possible outcome for your life planned out. All you have to do is be obediant and trust.

    

Ah....but thats the caveat. Obediance. Sometimes we blatantely know when we are being disobediant. We are convicted of something, yet we do it anyway. Sometimes, it's more subtle. Sometimes, because we are so wrapped up in the joy or conveniance of a thing, that we don't question if it is what he wants. That is when it becomes an idol. You can make anything an idol. A romance, a friendship, a hobby, a goal, an idea, money, fame, freedom, identity, the list goes on. How do we know when something is an idol? We pursue it more than we pursue what the FATHER wants for us.
   
Maybe the FATHER could care less about my photography. What if he knows I may go blind tomorrow and photography wasn't my purpose. Did I ever ask him if it's what he intended? Maybe the father isn't concerned with my freedom and independance because maybe I fall asleep at the wheel (happens often) and get injured and will be fully dependant on others the rest of my life. Maybe that co-dependancy is a part of my calling and my purpose. Only the FATHER knows the future. By choosing these things over his wants and desires for my life, I'm making them idols. I'm placing their importance, and my own desires over his.
   
That's disobediance. We all have freewill, but none of us are immune to the consequences of freewill. Normally the consequence is brokeness. Brokeness is painful. Eventually the thing you loved so much no longer fulfills you. Regardless of what that "thing" is. Only the FATHER can fully fulfill and sustain you. People will leave. Bitterly. Careers will end. Suddenly. Bussinesses will close. Abruptly. Bodies physically break down. Even ministries can fade. Then what do you have? Your entire identity and validation was fully placed in the one thing that you lost. You never fully pursued the FATHERS wants and desires for your life and now you're left a broken shell of what you used to be.
   
This happened to me. But take heart. Broken isn't "too late". The Father can still collect all of those little pieces and begin rebuilding and reshaping. He is the master potter. However, rebuilding and reshaping will require obediance or you'll remain broken. The goal of this blog is to prevent the breaking before it happens to you like it did to me. You have two options, bend or break. I encourage you to choose the former. The FATHER is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Why is that important? Because that is proof that he's not the one who is going to be bending. He is not the one who is going to be changing. HE requires that of US. Bending is much easier than breaking.
   
So how does one know where to start or even know if something in their life is from the FATHER or not? Well one way is easy. Conviction. If something in your life convicts you than you should stop pusuing it. However, I would also encourage you to simply pray about it. Even if its still awkward for you to pray. I would simply pray, "Father, please show me if there's anything in my life that I've placed before you. Please reveal anything that I should not be pursuing. Make these things obvious. Also, reveal to me anything that I should pursue. Reveal to me anything that you do want for my life and my future. Remove the things you no longer want and prepare me for the things that you do. Give me the strength to let go of the things I love and hold dear if they aren't what you want me to love or hold dear. Give me peace and grace to deal with the loss. Fulfill and sustain me. Above all, your will be done."
   
Even if you don't "hear" or "feel" anything the Father is faithful and he will start working in your life. Please, take it from someone who no longer wanted to exist. Someone who wished they would simply have never been created or born. BE PLIABLE. BE OBEDIANT. YOU DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. CONVEINANCE IS NOT ALWAYS WHAT THE FATHER WANTS. YOU ARE NOT ALL KNOWING. HE HAS A PLAN FOR YOU AND MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, IT WON'T ALIGN WITH YOUR PLAN. CONSTANTLY BEND OR YOU'LL BREAK. Above all, pursue the FATHER with reckless abandon and everything else will eventually fall into place.

 

P.S. NO AI was used in writing or even editing.

 

P.S.S. I will not take up the time to look up scripture references to align with my thoughts. I'm terribly sorry that I'm simply not sorry about that.

 

- Sincerely, A trogladyte heathen.